WARNING : LONG WINDED POST AHEAD
In 1947, diamond giant, DeBeers came up with an marketing gimmick campaign, stating, ” A Diamond is Forever” which I am sure almost all girls have heard of it. Of course, DeBeers also instructed their jewellers that the ideal price to pay for the engagement ring would be two to three times their monthly wages. No doubt this strategy worked like a charm. With no used diamonds coming back into the market, no wonder DeBeers is still going strong!!
Anyway back to the proposal talk, now across the world, ladies expect their men to go down on bended knees when proposing with a diamond engagement ring (roughly ~ 1 carat : don’t think this equals to 2/3 times of the monthly pay anymore, since diamond prices seems to be getting more and more ridiculous). For quite a long time, I was too under the ‘impressionable girlie’ category.
The engagement ring now sits only in the jewellery box. Worn only on special occasions.
When Alex proposed to me, he did not have a ring. He did not get down on a bended knee. The fact is we were quarrelling just hours before he proposed. He still went ahead with the proposal and despite me being fuming mad at him, I accepted. With no ring, no romantic candlelight dinner and no flowers! Haha!
Was the proposal a perfect one? Well, it definitely was not but it was a truly memorable one. Will always remember the events right before the proposal. So it was an excellent proposal!
After the proposal, Alex and I shopped for the engagement ring (remember the line, ‘impressionable girlie’, although I know the great conspiracy going on but what the heck! ). Being the pain in the arse neck, I was am, after doing lots of research online and walking through the shopping malls, we finally decided to go for the Lazare; relatively unknown in this part of the world but I really liked the ‘fire‘ I saw. Although a bit on the pricey side (with the same amount of cash, could have gotten a better rock, just that we weren’t experts therefore decided not to chance and stick to the brand), the rock carried a laser inscription that nearly match my birthdate.
The weddings rings that both me and Alex are wearing now
Wedding preparations came in later. Our families met. Had the normal ‘negotations‘ about the wedding. Blah blah blah. The outcome of the discussion was not what I expected. Nonetheless, after coming in terms with the reality (read: marriage is not ONLY about you), we went ahead as agreed upon. After the whole hullabaloo, I was rather happy over the event. First of, I had one heck of a wedding planner (Linda) and it was completely free!! My brothers and cousin Kar Ling came and help with full force. Chui Ying drove straight from Teluk Intan and gave my flowers extra boost with her endless supplies of paracetomol. My parents were busy helping me get the relatives as well as friends comfortable. My in-laws got us a wonderful place to use for the wedding. The owner were wonderful people, putting up red cloth at the door to mark the happy occasion. Almost the entire Gee & Wan Clan came from far and near to attend. Even my grand-aunt in Penang insisted on coming and she came holding on to her cane. My parents’ friends, whom I know almost all of them, came. My UTM gang took time off from their busy schedule. Fired up the bubble guns for me during my recession in the church. Manmeet, my ex-roomate came for my church ceremony. The ACS Forummers all made the extra effort to come. (sorry guys, the dinner started late! ) Mr. Salty & Wet was my unofficial photographer; the bestest photographer I might add. My ex-colleagues drove all the way from Klang Valley to ulu-ulu land of Sitiawan (first time for all of them) despite it being the fasting month of Ramadhan for them. I could go on forever!
So here I am now, one year into the marriage, things are still looking good. Many did warn me that after marriage, things won’t be as rosy, yaadaa, yaadaa. I cannot deny that neither can I affirm that. Most of the time, you have to question yourself, what is most important to you.
The reason why I started all the long winded talk about my own story was I was reading from the bridal forum, on a member’s question: Does an expensive engagment ring equate to happy marriage? Earlier there was a thread sharing stories how their fiancé proposed to them. So this is my take:
During the proposal, there were so many things that I could thing of to reject his proposal. No ring, no flowers, no special setup. I could also compare the proposal to that of my friend’s. He proposed to his gal using the cinema. Flashed ” Will you marry me?” on the big screen after the watching a romantic movie together. That is an elaborate example. Instead of that, I chose to think of all the good things that we were experiencing. We were having a wonderful time in Bali, albeit the cheap accomodation!
Next was the wedding preparations. I wanted to do a nice little fancy party for about 50 people in Kuala Lumpur. But instead, I got the traditional set up of a Sitiawan wedding in a community hall with nearly 1000 people. More than half of them I don’t even know who they are. Could have threw a huge tantrum and gotten my way but sour the relationship in the process for the whole family. Although things didn’t turn out exactly how I pictured them to be, but I was genuinely touched by the love my friends and family showed me during the entire occasion.
In conclusion, whether it is good or bad, is really up to you. Knowing what you want and keep focused on the important bits is very vital. The rest of the details are just small stuff and you needn’t really fret over it. My frevent prayer is that every year when my anniversary comes about, I still have the big monkey holding my hand and wishing me happy anniversary. Big do to commerate the event or not is immaterial!
